As
incidents of molestations, rapes and other atrocities on women and children get
reported in the now omnipresent media the pressure for reactive measures like
stronger policing and stringent punishment hoping that this will act as a deterrent.
With
the alarmingly increased broken or unstable
families (homes), banalization of
sexuality, addictions , perversions etc calls for a solution that the check,
reverse and cure this serious malady affecting the human kind.
Children
from unstable and broken homes tend to repeat the same parental script as
adults. Lack of emotional stroke from
their parents leads them to seek fulfillment outside their homes and often not
the right kind and often it’s late.
Religion
can play a very important role today in preventing the decadence of its people.
It needs to reposition itself as being a catalyst that stabilizes the
human short-comings through strengthening of the family value structure, its
original role as provider of peace and solace, moksha, salvation or enlightenment
to individuals should be the end result of such an effort. They need to take up the role of preserving
the family structure rather than focusing on evangelization. The survival of religion lies in the survival
of the family.
Somewhere
along religion assumed the role of being a caste or social class leveler but it
has miserably failed. History shows that
change in or of religion does not easily change the social order. In India, today, we have dalits among the
Hindus, the Sikhs, the Buddhists, the Sacchar committee has recognized dalits among
Muslims and now Christian dalits are agitating for the same privileges. Sri Narayana Guru (1854-1928) used the
principle of the advaita
(non-duality) to show that since every being is one in the Absolute, social
discrimination has no justification or meaning.
The bhatki tradition affirms that God is equally gracious to all beings,
Christianity teaches that as all are children of the same Father God and share
equally in the new life offered by Jesus, so social discrimination is an evil
practice. Islam affirms the equality of
all before Allah. Yet, religion as of now must have at the most brought in some
semblance of equality on the ritualistic sphere.
Religion
how has a chance to bring about changes directly in society focusing on reaffirmation
of family values by offering theological perspectives and reasons and thereby
support, preserve and strengthen the family value structure.
The
foundation of a stable family is a stable marriage. Today marriage is reduced to a contract, and
it is one of the contributory reasons for the debased society we see around
us.
The
definition of ‘family’ given in 1950’s by the famous anthropologist C.
Levi-Strauss: “The family is the socially approved, more or less lasting union
of a man and a woman, and their children (…) it is a universal phenomenon, to
be found in any and every type of society.”
In the
eye of law marriage is a contract. And contract can be breached, broken, become
null and void. Not any more marriage is ‘more
or less lasting union’. Divorces and
cohabitation has increased. (Marriage
or cohabitation?)
Contrast
this, almost all religion says marriage is a covenant, sacred union or pavitra
bandhan. The marriage vows among Christians
or the Sat (7) phere of Hindus marriage has been reduces to mere
rituals and its meaning and relevance and its sacredness needs to be revived.
All
religion needs to focus on bringing in a balanced spiritual and practical
content in the lives of their followers.
One way of working towards preserving the family value structure is by introducing
a ‘Marriage Preparation Course’
for prospective couples on the lines of the ones now being offered by many
churches in India. The marriage preparation
course helps marriageable adults recognize the challenges of marriage and
family. It helps them think beyond the stereotypical
concept of interaction between husband and wife they have grown looking at
their parents’ marriage. The can be
empowered to break the negative script that they may have acquired from their
parents marriage. The marriage preparatory
course also focuses on the financial reality that comes in after marriage, especially
in a situation where both are earning is often the bone of contention or the beginning
of troubled relationship.
Religion
has to adopt a more pragmatic approach and enlighten it’s followers of the pitfalls
of being too independent or dependent and focus on the need to be
inter-dependent and also teach the
skills to bring up children by providing
them emotional wealth as an insurance from likely emotional upheavals in
adulthood.
If
every religion moves towards this objective of working towards mending broken
marriages and homes, they will be doing a greater service for humanity than
trying to prove its superiority. This
way it will save itself for the right reason.
Resource:
3.
Religions
Challenging Status Inequality by Michael Amaldoss. (VJTR 77 vol 8 (2013))
4.
Vatican
II on Marriage – An antidote to contemporary problems by Vimal Tirimanna, CSsR
(VJTR 77 vol 7 (2013)
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